I Need To Be Inspired!

I have not been updating my blog for some time now. Whenever I find time to sit down trying to pen my thoughts, there surely be a mental block and I can't even write a word. Can't seem to find a word to start.

Where have all my thoughts gone? I need to be inspired. Where shall I start? Where is the "old" me?

I Dreamed of Her

It's now already 3 weeks. Every nite when i go 2 sleep, i'll b thinking "will i able 2 see her in my dream?", "how will i feel when i see her?" And that just happened. I dreamed of her tis morning.

I dreamed that we were on that faithful nite. Chatting about her coming back to visit. Then suddenly i saw her standing in front of the door. Though couldn't see her clearly, i know it's her standing there with someone beside her. Who was she with? Was she with grandfather? Then momentarily, we were sitting on the floor in the living room chatting happily and her feet touches mine and i could feel it. The feeling is so real though it's just a dream.

Suddenly i dreamed that it's her funeral day. It was almost d time where we have to go to the crematorium and we were still in the kitchen at home n she is there. I can hear that my younger sister, Franciese, said to her that it's about time we make a move. Then i saw her face. This time i can see her clearly. She asked me to fetch her a bottle of water to be brought with her "journey" n said that she needed to use the washroom. I saw her very clearly, smiling at me as she's entering the washroom. I couldn't control myself. I started to cry at that very moment.

I woke up at 7:10am. I keep thinking of this dream of mine. Is it true that she came to visit?

Mourning Over Her Passing

(19/04/2009) 11:15 am: I was washing my car when Yvonne came out n say, "hey, ur dad has been calling ur mobile phone many times" which I replied, "It's ok... I call him back later". (15 minutes later) My house phone rang again. Answering the phone to hear my dad's voice, "Daniel, Ah Mar (grandmother) has just passed away"

With that, I was standing there dunno what to say and do. All that I can say is "What time?" and my dad told me it's 11am. She was 93-year-old.

Prayers have been performed for the past few days n I tried my best to hold back my tears. But, today (21/4/2009) I cried. At the crematorium, I cried. I couldn't hold back anymore when I saw my grandma's casket slowly being pushed into the cremator furnace n my mother cried "Can't see Ah Mar anymore". Tears were flowing from everybody's eyes. I cried. I wanted to say "I'm sorry, Ah Mar. I have not been a very good grandson. Please forgive me. I am sorry"

Looking up the the crematorium, smoke was coming out of the chimney n I cried again. I couldn't hold back my tears thinking that I couldn't have the chance to see my grandmother anymore. She'll always be in our heart.

Rest In Peace my beloved grandmother

Devastating News

It has been a couple of days that i didn't read any news, either in the newspaper or even over d net. Has been very busy these past weeks...

So tis morning i decided 2 spend a few minutes 2 update myself wit d latest news here, n wat greeted me is yet another devastating news which not supposedly happening again. If i still remember tis clearly, tis is a very big news which happened years ago and enforcements should have been done. But today, i am reading tis again...

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Six die in dawn crash, co-driver decapitated as guardrail spears bus

RAWANG: Six people were killed and a woman seriously injured when the double-decker express bus they were travelling in skidded and crashed on the North-South Expressway near Rawang yesterday.

The 5am accident at the 442.9nd kilometre of the expressway caused a massive crawl south of the Bukit Beruntung toll plaza as authorities took about four hours to clear the wreckage.

Md Zaher Mohamad, 33, C. Magenthiran, 26, Mohamad Fauzi Awang, 44, Muhammad Ismail, 27, Mohd Yusril Zakaria, 27, and co-driver Zulkhibri Md Saad, 35, all died at the scene.

Wrecked: The guardrail by the side of the NSE pierced the lower deck of the bus, decapitating co-driver Zulkhibri Md Saad in the crash.

The AB Express bus, carrying 34 passengers, was travelling south to Kuala Lumpur from Alor Setar when the driver apparently lost control of the vehicle.

The bus then skidded into the guardrail, causing the metal railing to break off and spear the lower deck of the bus before the vehicle came to a stop on its side.

Magenthiran, who was on the upper deck, was thrown out of the bus while Zulkhibri was decapitated by the railing.

Tragic loss: Magenthiran’s father Chandra Sekhara (right) being consoled at the Sungai Buloh Hospital.

Federal traffic police chief Senior Asst Comm II Datuk Abd Aziz Yusof said the driver and two women, one of whom is seven months pregnant, were sent to the Sungai Buloh Hospital for treatment.

“The others were brought to the Gombak police headquarters to have their statements recorded,” he said.

SAC Abd Aziz said initial investigations found that the bus driver, Fauzi Mohammed, 33, had received eight summonses for speeding while Zulkhibri had six summonses and five arrest warrants for the same offence.

“We are investigating the case as reckless driving leading to death under Section 41 of the Road Transport Act,” he said.

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Why is this happening again? I don't know... It could be d driver's negligence that caused the life of innocent people. It could also b the condition of d vehicle that causes this. But how could a "mal-functioned" public transport be "let out" !!? I don't know... But wat i know is i m totally saddened by this incident

Hellllllppp!!!!!!!!!!!

pic taken from http://www.wulffmorgenthaler.com/

Helllllllppp!!!!!!!!!!

I m screaming aloud from d inside now! It's not easy being a consultant when u r dealing wit people who wans 2 do things their way n not following the standard procedure. So wat do u do? U try 2 convince them n tell them that their way is wrong n they gotto follow the procedure in order 2 reach the correct result.

What did they blardy reply!!!? "NO! CANNOT!"

WTF!!! Who is the consultant here? Who knows the correct way n correct procedure? Who duh fark r u 2 tell me wat 2 do when watever u doing is totally farking wrong!!!?

My blood pressure is really shooting sky-high dealing wit tis kinda stupidest people on earth...! WTF!!!

Hobbies??

After a simple bowl of soup noodles for lunch, i am browsing through some websites. Then i bumped into an old word which has loooonnnggg been 'lost' in my memory.

Hobbies

Then i wonder, "how long have i not use or think about this? so now, what is 'my hobbies'?" If i hv not remember wrongly, however faintly it may seemed, i had had few hobbies. And remember that my school teachers had asked us to write essays of "My Hobbies" before. And amongst friends, we also discussed and sometimes even bragged about our hobbies. "I like football. It's a team game, so it makes me a good team player" and another will say "My hobby is playing piano. I will become a famous pianist when I grow up".

Years later when we reached high school, we were not asked to write essays of "My Hobbies" anymore since this seems to be a very ridiculous topic hehe. However, during this time, we live to our hobbies. We continue playing football whenever we are free. We continue playing piano. And to a point that we thought that we are so good at our 'hobby' that we even formed our own team and even 'recruit' new players. Those were the years, man... Those were the years where what we call FUN.

Then again, years passed. Everyone is now either attached and employed into a corporate, or being self-employed. All our time is devoted to our newly found 'hobby' from 8:30am till 6:00pm. There are even time when we have to stay back until as late as 11:00pm. Many even continue during the weekend.

So when our friends called, what do we tell them? "Oh... I am fine, thank you. But, I am sorry, can't chat with you now bcos I have some dateline to meet" or "Hi... sorry, but it's not convenient to talk now. Will call you back when I am free"

Where do we find time when our family needs us? When can we put down our current "9-5 hobby" and really pursue or do what we really want and love to do? Have we really lost our HOBBIES after all these years? Where have our hobbies like painting, listening to music, playing computer games, knitting, sewing, gardening etc gone?

Belated Birthday Wishes to Daddy, Mummy and especially ETHAN!!!

Dearest Daniel, Yvonne and Ethan...

Here's wishing you guys a special belated birthday especially dedicated to your pride and joy and the apple of your eyes - ETHAN

(from the 'aunty' waaaaaaay down under)

Confess Your Sins...

Once, there was a man who was upset by his past deeds that he decided to visit a church and confess all of his sins.

When he arrived at the church, he walked to the confession area and spoke to the priest, "Father, I am sinful."

"Yes, son, just tell me what have you done, the Lord will forgive you."

"Father, I have a steady relationship with my girlfriend, it's been 3 years and nothing serious ever happened between us. Yesterday, I visited her house, nobody was at home except for her sister. We were alone and I slept with her."

"That's bad my boy. Fortunately, you realize your mistake."

"Father, last week I went to her office to look for her, but nobody was around except for one of her colleagues. So, I slept with her too."

"That's not very good of you."

"Father, last month, I went to her uncle's house to look for her, nobody was around except for her auntie, and I slept with her too."

"Father?.... ..... Father?"

Suddenly, this guy realized that there was no response from the Father. He walked over and discovered that the priest was not there. So, he began searching for him. "Father? Where are you?"

He searched high and low, and finally he found him hiding under the table behind the piano. "Father, why are you hiding here?"

Do u know why?

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The father replied, "Sorry son, suddenly I remembered there is nobody around here except me."

Our Best Memory Of 2008

3rd March 2008:

It was around 8.30pm when Yvonne said to me, "Lao gong, come. See. Ur baby is starting 2 kick very hard since tis afternoon n it's getting very often." 10 minutes passed n she suddenly said, "Lao gong, i feel like eating ABC" which i replied, "Now cannot lar... but after baby is born, then i bring u go eat until u r satisfied har, okie..." (adding a grin on my face.. haha)

4th March 2008:
1.50am - "Lao gong... I think I'm about to deliver... ur son's kicking n pushing is getting stronger n stronger."

3.00am - Yvonne was admitted into the SJMC. The nurse in charge checked her, and made sure both mommy n baby were okay. Yvonne was put under observation. The nurse checked her cervical dilation and informed us that mommy has only dilated 1cm and told us that we need to wait till the dilation is about 10cm. I think at that moment, both Yvonne n I were thinking "damn... it's gonna b a long way 2 go, mann". While waiting for the dilation, we started joking n laughing since we hv nothing 2 do but just waiting. The nurse came in to check on Yvonne's progress every half hour n d dilation was very slow.

5.30am - A new nurse in duty has come in replacing d midnite shift. And there was another round of checking again. This time, the nurse told us that she'll put Yvonne on some kinda solution to induce d dilation and said that d doctor will come in to break her water later. With that, there is no more joking n laughing. The contractions came almost every minute.

8.40am - Dr. Tan came in for d first time to look at Yvonne's condition n broke d water, and at dat particular moment Yvonne almost screamed out loud bcos of d contraction pain. Dr. Tan checked on her dilation again n inform that it was just 2cm! Both Yvonne n I were shocked, that after so many hours only dilated 1cm. It was the longest hour in our life. Both of us did not know when will d dilation reach about 10cm n when will our little baby b born. So it was a waiting game for me n it's a long n painful wait for her. The general anesthetic didn't work much to reduce her contraction pain, moreover Yvonne didn't want to use epidural as she wants to "experience" the labor pain herself. But for me, it's heart breaking to see her in such pain n i cried when she told me, "lao gong...... hern thong...." (meaning "hubby..... it's very painful") I tried, but to no avail, to sooth her n know that I must b strong. The contraction continues. N it seemed like we have been here for ages. Suddenly there were many nurses coming in n out of our room but we didn't know what was going on. N suddenly Yvonne was very restless n I reckon that our baby is coming.

2.22pm - Out Ethan came n we were so happy. But mommy was too tired to do anything else except lying on d bed. Ethan was very pale. The nurses cleaned n weighed him, n then put Ethan onto mommy's chest. He was 2 weeks early.

We are so grateful that God has given us this wonderful son, and this is d start of a new chapter in our life. A new little member in our family. Our little precious. And he is the most wonderful memory for 2008, and today he is 11 month old. It still feels like yesterday that I saw him born.

Arrrggghhh!!! My Hotmail Got Hacked!!!

Blardy f***ing angry n mad!!! My hotmail account (davonne815@hotmail.com) got hacked by some muddar farking son of a farking bitch. Dat fello shoulda go farking their maddar n not go messing wit other's email.

Now i got calls fr friends asking whether im in trouble. So i asked him 2 send me d email supposedly sent by me.

The email read as "Hello, I am sorry I didn't inform you about my travel to Europe for a program called Empowering the Youth to Fight Racism, HIV/AIDS, and Lack of Education, the program is taking place in three major countries in Europe which are Holland, Scotland, England. But I am presently in England London now. Unfortunately all my money and traveling documents were stolen in my hotel room during a robbery incident in the hotel where I lodged. I am so confused now; I don't know what to do, please can you urgently assist me with a soft loan of £1,800 Pounds? Please I want to use it to sort-out my hotel bills and buy my return ticket. But if you can not come up with the amount Please send any amount you can afford through Western Union with the information below

Name/ Daniel Kang

Address: 2-24 Kensington High St
Zip code: W8 4PT
State: London
Country: England
Test Question: To whom?
Answer:Daniel

Amount send ?

Once you have it sent, please send me the money transfer control number (MTCN), with details used in sending it. I will be expecting your mail as soon as possible"

Im gonna slap d shit out of dat son of a bitch, but i doubt it cos dunno which bastard is doing tis. F*CK!!! My contact list is gone.

Making The Right Choice For Your Baby

It has been 10 months now, and looking back the time before he was born, yvonne and I were trying to decide whether to use those disposable diapers (which we usually labeled as "Pampers") or to use cloth diapers.

So, weighing the pros and cons of both we went. Though disposable diapers are much more convenient (for lazy people like me, of course hehe), but having a baby's soft skin being wrapped with the diapers for a long time will definitely result in major problem, not to mention rashes and worse is being infected with Urinary Tract Infection. This is definitely not the thing that we want our baby to endure.

So we decided to use cloth diapers. And with the hot weather that Malaysia is having, using cloth diapers will be much cooler for Ethan too. With just one drawback. Mommy and daddy gotto be very hardworking to wash and clean the diapers.

However, we are lucky, though. Yvonne's mom decided to help us take care of Ethan while we go to work and she'll be doing the laundry too. "Yeah... freedom" I almost shouted out. And thanks to her, we have saved alot since buying disposable diapers is not cheap.

So now we switch between cloth diapers and disposable diapers. Cloth diapers during the day when Ethan is in grandma's house, and disposable diapers at night as well as when we go out shopping.

This is truly a very inspiring story that is written. Many a times when we are faced with obstacles, sadness, or even sickness, we will keep focusing on "Why Me?" rather than believing that we will win the battle in the end, no matter what situation we are in.

How To Truly Win Your Battle

By: Rebecca Watson

My kind-hearted cousin, Julia Middleton, fought cancer for seven years, fifty chemo treatments, alternative medicines, and tons of hospital bills. Not once did she ever complain—not even a whimper.

Remarkably, she didn’t focus on “Why me?” but rather thanked God for the opportunity to demonstrate His will through her struggle and consistent hope. While her friends and family knew that eventually she would lose her battle to cancer, she instead believed that no matter her situation, she would always “win” the battle in the end because of her strong faith in a loving God and eternal Heaven.

The night before she passed away last week, a huge group of friends and Choir members from her church gathered to serenade her. Although she could not see (she had lost her eyesight and could hardly sit up in a chair), she whispered her last words, “Yah! Fantastic.” Her supportive husband Middy wept in her lap.

I heard a story, below, that reminds me of beautiful Julia. I’m grateful for the permanent impact that her positive attitude has had on my own perspective about living with a joyful heart.

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There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

“Well,” she said. “I think I’ll braid my hair today.” So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror, and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

“Hmm,” she said. “I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today.” So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror, and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

“Ha,” she said. “Today I’m going to wear my hair in a pony tail.” So she did and she had a super fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror, and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head.

“YEA!” she exclaimed. “I don’t have to fix my hair today!”


Ask yourself, "What have I learned from Julia?". Are you still going to focus on "Why Me?" when you wake up one morning to find that you have only 3 pieces of hair on your head? Or are you going to be you own "Julia"?

Do You Have Bad Breath?

pic courtesy of Wulffmorgenthaler.com

Many of us do not realize tis... but till when u realize it, it's too late. All ur friends will b at least 10feet away from u. And those who does know u will b trying very very hard 2 conceal d revolting feeling inside. IT IS UR BAD BREATH!!

All of us were taught by our parents since young age dat brushing our teeth will keep our mouth n breath fresh. But is tis true enough? Yes, and No. We know tis very well.

So, then, wat do we do 2 keep our breath 'fresh'? We'll start of wit mouth wash solution. Then we'll floss our teeth. Brush our teeth after each meal. Some resort to taking minty sweets in a desparate move 2 keep thier mouth "fresh".

Further many also know dat smoking will cause our mouth to smell. Then wat do smokers do 2 keep their mouth fresh? I know a few will do those above starting from mouth wash to taking minty 'fresh' sweets. N many just dun give a f**k!

But how do u keep ur mouth from having bad breath?

Secret To Be Successful

Once upon a time a very strong woodcutter asked for a job with a timber merchant, and he got it. His salary was really good and so were the working conditions. For that reason, the woodcutter was determined to do his best.

His boss gave him an axe and showed him the area where he was supposed to fell the trees. The first day, the woodcutter brought down 15 trees.

"Congratulations, " the boss said. " Carry on with your work!"

Highly motivated by the words of his boss, the woodcutter tried harder the next day, but he only could bring 10 trees down. The third day he tried even harder, but he was only able to bring down 7 trees.

Day after day he was bringing lesser number of trees down.

"I must be losing my strength", the woodcutter thought. He went to the boss and apologized, saying that he could not understand what was going on.

"When was the last time you sharpened your axe?" the boss asked.
" Sharpen? I had no time to sharpen my axe. I have been very busy trying to cut trees..."

That's right. Most of us NEVER update our skills. We think that whatever we have learned is very much enough. But good is not good when better is expected. Sharpening our skills from time to time is the key to success.

Sleepless Nite In Wangsa Baiduri

Ethan woke up in the middle of d nite crying on Xmas day. Both mommy n i jolted up trying 2 calm him down but his crying still goes on. We thought he might b having stomachache, so applied some ointment onto his tummy. But he is still crying.

Then mommy said, "may b he's hungry, cos his last ate at 10pm" so i went 2 prepare a bottle of milk. Fortunately, he slept after he finished d bottle of milk.

The next morning we asked grandma why Ethan woke up n cry non-stop? N d reply we got is may b he had 2 much of fun b4 he went 2 sleep n that's why he'll wake up in d middle of d nite n cry. N according 2 MIL tis is according 2 'old people' saying.

sigh... next time we really gotto make sure Ethan dun get himself 2 excited b4 he goes 2 sleep. I think MIL is rite, cos we had a bbq party on Xmas eve n some relative came over n Ethan was having fun playing wit their children...

Merry Christmas Everyone

Hi there, everyone, whether u know me personally or not. I would like to wish everybody a

Merry Christmas
and
a
Happy New Year.

A Sudden Phone Call From Dad

Tis week has been a very hectic week for me n my colleague, as we were in charged of giving training to customers. And things were made worse when our company server went down several times.

Then a couple of days ago, my phone suddenly rang. And I answered. It was from my dad.

Me: Hi, father.
Dad: You free to talk?
Me: Ya, just for a while. Anything urgent?
Dad: Oh... nothing much actually. But can u come here on Friday evening after ur work? ("here" is referring to my dad's house, as I am staying away from my parents)
Me: Why? What's wrong?
Dad: Nothing. Don't worry. It's not convenient to talk over the phone. Come back n I'll tell u.

So for d past couple of days, I have been wondering what could have happened that dad wants me to go back specifically on Friday? And so, i went back to my dad's house after work today, to find out what has happened that he called me back so urgently.

"Son, I need ur help," dad said. "I hv been facing some major financial problem now n I don't know what to do." And he carry on to explain to me about the detail.

After I heard him, my feel so sad. My dad has all this while been a very strong man and being a typical Chinese, it's extremely hard for him to open his mouth to ask for help from his son. All this while, he has been earning more money than me (how? I am not very sure), and I have been seeking his assistance, financially, to help me. But now. This respectable strong man of mine has broken down. The pain in my heart is hard to explain.

"I'll help you," is the only thing I said, even though I know very well that, at this moment, it's hard for me to give any help. But he is my father! No matter how tough it is, "I Will Help!" This is what I tell myself. But how? I really don't know how...

I hope God will hear my prayers. Yes, I have sinned. I have done bad things. I have utter bad words. I have bad thoughts. But I hope God will hear my prayers, and help my dad. He is a good man.

Get Back Up When You Fall

"... there are sometimes in life where you fall down, and you feel like you don't have the strength to get back up". I believe this does happen to most of us here when times we fall down and we feel like it's the end of the world. To some, they resort to even end their life. But have you think that you can Get Back Up after you fall?

"Do you think you have hope?" asked Nick Vojicic




When he said "... I will try one hundred times to get back up. And if I fail one hundred times, if I fail and I give up, do you think I am never gonna get up? NO!" This should be learned by all of us and not giving up so easily when facing obstacles in life.

How? There is only one way. "If I fail, I try again, and again and again... But I just want you to know it's not the end. It matters how you gonna finish. Are you gonna finish strong? And you will find that strength to get back up..."

Thank you, Nick.

It's Heart Breaking To See Ur Baby In Pain

It was yesterday evening... after i reached home from work at about 7pm, where i was greeted by my wife cuddling Ethan in her hands.

Me: Hey... how r u guys doing 2day? hi...Ethan, hv u been notti 2day?

Then i noticed that yvonne's eyes r red (probably after crying for a while b4 i reached home) Then she handed Ethan to me n proceeded to the kitchen to prepare dinner. N i started playing wit Ethan. After a while, yvonne came out of the kitchen after completed her chores when she said in a sobby eyes, "daddy, i was cleaning up in the kitchen when Ethan fell down from his playpen" n she couldn't help herself n started breaking into tears.

Me: It's okay... it's okay... dun worry.. it's not ur fault.
She: But i couldn't find where hv he hurt himself (n she started crying again)
Me: Oh... it's alrite. Dun worry.. he's not hurt. Look at him. If he's hurt, he wouldn't b playing now rite. Dun cry...

It's really heart breaking 2 see her crying n i know yvonne was feeling terribly sorry n heartache 2 see her lovely son fell down n cry. I wanted 2 cry myself but i know i gotto b strong for her so that she'll not b blaming herself for Ethan's falling from the playpen.

Oh... God, i pray, please give me strength to b strong.

Damn 'Malu-fied' Situation At Work

I was having a training session with a group of audience last few days, when my friend George called me.

He: Daniel, come.
Me: What's dat?

He pointing at his laptop wit one of his hands rubbing his eyes, n me started reading wat's on it. It reads

"Jordin Sparks Died Yesterday"

I was in fact shocked by wat im reading, n looking at d situation i was in, i only managed 2 say, "oh... wat a waste (of talent, i mean)". Then i asked, "so, how did she die? What happen?"

George made a click on his keyboard n another web-page popped out. He, once again, pointing at the screen, expecting me 2 read again.

N guess wat... do u know how Jordin Sparks "died"?

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"No Air"

Blardy hell...! I really wanted 2 smack d sh*t out of dat boy, im telling u... But anyway, it's a good wan, tho.. hahahaha