I Dreamed of Her

It's now already 3 weeks. Every nite when i go 2 sleep, i'll b thinking "will i able 2 see her in my dream?", "how will i feel when i see her?" And that just happened. I dreamed of her tis morning.

I dreamed that we were on that faithful nite. Chatting about her coming back to visit. Then suddenly i saw her standing in front of the door. Though couldn't see her clearly, i know it's her standing there with someone beside her. Who was she with? Was she with grandfather? Then momentarily, we were sitting on the floor in the living room chatting happily and her feet touches mine and i could feel it. The feeling is so real though it's just a dream.

Suddenly i dreamed that it's her funeral day. It was almost d time where we have to go to the crematorium and we were still in the kitchen at home n she is there. I can hear that my younger sister, Franciese, said to her that it's about time we make a move. Then i saw her face. This time i can see her clearly. She asked me to fetch her a bottle of water to be brought with her "journey" n said that she needed to use the washroom. I saw her very clearly, smiling at me as she's entering the washroom. I couldn't control myself. I started to cry at that very moment.

I woke up at 7:10am. I keep thinking of this dream of mine. Is it true that she came to visit?

Mourning Over Her Passing

(19/04/2009) 11:15 am: I was washing my car when Yvonne came out n say, "hey, ur dad has been calling ur mobile phone many times" which I replied, "It's ok... I call him back later". (15 minutes later) My house phone rang again. Answering the phone to hear my dad's voice, "Daniel, Ah Mar (grandmother) has just passed away"

With that, I was standing there dunno what to say and do. All that I can say is "What time?" and my dad told me it's 11am. She was 93-year-old.

Prayers have been performed for the past few days n I tried my best to hold back my tears. But, today (21/4/2009) I cried. At the crematorium, I cried. I couldn't hold back anymore when I saw my grandma's casket slowly being pushed into the cremator furnace n my mother cried "Can't see Ah Mar anymore". Tears were flowing from everybody's eyes. I cried. I wanted to say "I'm sorry, Ah Mar. I have not been a very good grandson. Please forgive me. I am sorry"

Looking up the the crematorium, smoke was coming out of the chimney n I cried again. I couldn't hold back my tears thinking that I couldn't have the chance to see my grandmother anymore. She'll always be in our heart.

Rest In Peace my beloved grandmother