Work-Life Balance

I reckon that this is what every employee wants while in their working life.

8:30 am to 5:30 pm or 9 am to 6 pm.
Leave office sharp after work.
Go partying with your gang for happy hour till 9 pm.

This is of course the idealist kinda way to explain our work-life balance, ain't it?

But for family man like me, work-life balance could be different. Or should I say, is there work-life balance?

8:30 am to 5:30 pm or 9 am to 6 pm (no choice - bcos have to feed few mouths in the family)
Leave office sharp after work (also no choice)
Instead of go partying, we go back home to start our life (work) balance once again, eg. taking care of the kiddos, washing (which bound to have something to wash), cleaning.

For me, work-life balance doesn't mean that you have to go partying after work for happy-hour. Even though the 2nd example which I gave above is also part of work-life balance. Just that it seems to be a continuation of "work" in a different sense.

For a family man or woman, with kids especially, life is the fulfillment of our duty towards our children. Seeing them taken care of. Eaten well. Sleeping soundly. Live healthily.

That is "life" despite the fact that we "work" our arse through the night after 6pm, and not having the spare time to spend for partying with our friends.

Hmmm... hopefully when my kids grow up, my wifey and I will have more time to ourselves, so that we can go partying with our joints making loads of cracking sounds... hahaha

Your Angel

 

This is a  tribute to all mothers. I personally find this so meaningful and would like all children, no matter how old you are, either 10, 20, 30 or 40 years old, you are still a child to your Angel.

 

Your Angel

Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born. So one day he asked God: "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

God replied, "Among the many angels, I chose one for you. She will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

"But tell me, here in Heaven, I don't do anything else but sing and smile, that's enough for me to be happy."  "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every day. And you will feel your angel's love and be happy."

"And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don't know the language that men talk?"  "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"  "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

"I've heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?"  "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."  "Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard, and the child in a hurry asked softly:
"Oh God, if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

"Your angel's name is of no importance, but you will call your angel this: Mommy."

Belated Birthday Wishes to Daddy, Mummy and especially ETHAN!!!

Dearest Daniel, Yvonne and Ethan...

Here's wishing you guys a special belated birthday especially dedicated to your pride and joy and the apple of your eyes - ETHAN

(from the 'aunty' waaaaaaay down under)

Our Best Memory Of 2008

3rd March 2008:

It was around 8.30pm when Yvonne said to me, "Lao gong, come. See. Ur baby is starting 2 kick very hard since tis afternoon n it's getting very often." 10 minutes passed n she suddenly said, "Lao gong, i feel like eating ABC" which i replied, "Now cannot lar... but after baby is born, then i bring u go eat until u r satisfied har, okie..." (adding a grin on my face.. haha)

4th March 2008:
1.50am - "Lao gong... I think I'm about to deliver... ur son's kicking n pushing is getting stronger n stronger."

3.00am - Yvonne was admitted into the SJMC. The nurse in charge checked her, and made sure both mommy n baby were okay. Yvonne was put under observation. The nurse checked her cervical dilation and informed us that mommy has only dilated 1cm and told us that we need to wait till the dilation is about 10cm. I think at that moment, both Yvonne n I were thinking "damn... it's gonna b a long way 2 go, mann". While waiting for the dilation, we started joking n laughing since we hv nothing 2 do but just waiting. The nurse came in to check on Yvonne's progress every half hour n d dilation was very slow.

5.30am - A new nurse in duty has come in replacing d midnite shift. And there was another round of checking again. This time, the nurse told us that she'll put Yvonne on some kinda solution to induce d dilation and said that d doctor will come in to break her water later. With that, there is no more joking n laughing. The contractions came almost every minute.

8.40am - Dr. Tan came in for d first time to look at Yvonne's condition n broke d water, and at dat particular moment Yvonne almost screamed out loud bcos of d contraction pain. Dr. Tan checked on her dilation again n inform that it was just 2cm! Both Yvonne n I were shocked, that after so many hours only dilated 1cm. It was the longest hour in our life. Both of us did not know when will d dilation reach about 10cm n when will our little baby b born. So it was a waiting game for me n it's a long n painful wait for her. The general anesthetic didn't work much to reduce her contraction pain, moreover Yvonne didn't want to use epidural as she wants to "experience" the labor pain herself. But for me, it's heart breaking to see her in such pain n i cried when she told me, "lao gong...... hern thong...." (meaning "hubby..... it's very painful") I tried, but to no avail, to sooth her n know that I must b strong. The contraction continues. N it seemed like we have been here for ages. Suddenly there were many nurses coming in n out of our room but we didn't know what was going on. N suddenly Yvonne was very restless n I reckon that our baby is coming.

2.22pm - Out Ethan came n we were so happy. But mommy was too tired to do anything else except lying on d bed. Ethan was very pale. The nurses cleaned n weighed him, n then put Ethan onto mommy's chest. He was 2 weeks early.

We are so grateful that God has given us this wonderful son, and this is d start of a new chapter in our life. A new little member in our family. Our little precious. And he is the most wonderful memory for 2008, and today he is 11 month old. It still feels like yesterday that I saw him born.

Making The Right Choice For Your Baby

It has been 10 months now, and looking back the time before he was born, yvonne and I were trying to decide whether to use those disposable diapers (which we usually labeled as "Pampers") or to use cloth diapers.

So, weighing the pros and cons of both we went. Though disposable diapers are much more convenient (for lazy people like me, of course hehe), but having a baby's soft skin being wrapped with the diapers for a long time will definitely result in major problem, not to mention rashes and worse is being infected with Urinary Tract Infection. This is definitely not the thing that we want our baby to endure.

So we decided to use cloth diapers. And with the hot weather that Malaysia is having, using cloth diapers will be much cooler for Ethan too. With just one drawback. Mommy and daddy gotto be very hardworking to wash and clean the diapers.

However, we are lucky, though. Yvonne's mom decided to help us take care of Ethan while we go to work and she'll be doing the laundry too. "Yeah... freedom" I almost shouted out. And thanks to her, we have saved alot since buying disposable diapers is not cheap.

So now we switch between cloth diapers and disposable diapers. Cloth diapers during the day when Ethan is in grandma's house, and disposable diapers at night as well as when we go out shopping.

Sleepless Nite In Wangsa Baiduri

Ethan woke up in the middle of d nite crying on Xmas day. Both mommy n i jolted up trying 2 calm him down but his crying still goes on. We thought he might b having stomachache, so applied some ointment onto his tummy. But he is still crying.

Then mommy said, "may b he's hungry, cos his last ate at 10pm" so i went 2 prepare a bottle of milk. Fortunately, he slept after he finished d bottle of milk.

The next morning we asked grandma why Ethan woke up n cry non-stop? N d reply we got is may b he had 2 much of fun b4 he went 2 sleep n that's why he'll wake up in d middle of d nite n cry. N according 2 MIL tis is according 2 'old people' saying.

sigh... next time we really gotto make sure Ethan dun get himself 2 excited b4 he goes 2 sleep. I think MIL is rite, cos we had a bbq party on Xmas eve n some relative came over n Ethan was having fun playing wit their children...

It's Heart Breaking To See Ur Baby In Pain

It was yesterday evening... after i reached home from work at about 7pm, where i was greeted by my wife cuddling Ethan in her hands.

Me: Hey... how r u guys doing 2day? hi...Ethan, hv u been notti 2day?

Then i noticed that yvonne's eyes r red (probably after crying for a while b4 i reached home) Then she handed Ethan to me n proceeded to the kitchen to prepare dinner. N i started playing wit Ethan. After a while, yvonne came out of the kitchen after completed her chores when she said in a sobby eyes, "daddy, i was cleaning up in the kitchen when Ethan fell down from his playpen" n she couldn't help herself n started breaking into tears.

Me: It's okay... it's okay... dun worry.. it's not ur fault.
She: But i couldn't find where hv he hurt himself (n she started crying again)
Me: Oh... it's alrite. Dun worry.. he's not hurt. Look at him. If he's hurt, he wouldn't b playing now rite. Dun cry...

It's really heart breaking 2 see her crying n i know yvonne was feeling terribly sorry n heartache 2 see her lovely son fell down n cry. I wanted 2 cry myself but i know i gotto b strong for her so that she'll not b blaming herself for Ethan's falling from the playpen.

Oh... God, i pray, please give me strength to b strong.

Having A Child Fall Asleep In Ur Arms

(pic: special thanks to clemfour.wordpress.com)

Exercise During Pregnancy. Is It Alrite?

There is a common question which all, not only women, but also men, will ask about exercise during pregnancy. "Will it jeopardize the pregnancy?" "Will it cause pre-mature labor?" "Should the new mommy change her exercise routine?" and also "Should the pregnant mommy change to a moderate exercise, compared to her usual jogging routine, tennis games or gym workout?

Contrary to our parent's belief, we all know that exercise is very important and most pregnant women benefit from exercising throughout her pregnancy. However, the question still arises.

How Much Is Too Much?

At one time, it was believed that exercise could increase the risk of pre-mature labor. However, this is no longer the case now since many studies had been conducted to show that exercise is in fact beneficial. It is advisable that the pregnant woman should get her gynae's advise before beginning any exercise routine or even to continue your existing routine. In most cases, especially when this is your 1st pregnancy, you will feel more fatigue and tired to even consider getting on to any exercise routine. But this is not the excuse for you not to excercise because regular exercise will help to improve not even your health, but also reduce the symptoms or complications associated to pregnancy and delivery.

Amongst other benefits that a pregnant woman will get from exercising include prevention of backache, high blood pressure, diabetes, and osteoporosis.

You should take much precaution when deciding to start any exercise program and consult your gynae if you have any form of health issues related to pregnancy, such as previous miscarriage, mild anemia or vaginal bleeding, etc. However, with due consideration and precaution, your physician can help to design an exercise routine which is safe for you in view these complications.

Even if your physician allows or approved you to an exercise routine, you should take step to avoid overheating. Especially in the 1st trimester, if your body temperature reaches 39 degree Celsius, your baby may be at risk of certain brain and spine defects. Therefore, try to avoid or limit your exercise in hot and humid environment.

There are various types of exercise that are beneficial for pregnant mommy(s). For example, walking, swimming, yoga, stretching and toning exercises, as well as kegel exercises. Avoid lifting heavy objects.

Besides all the talk about exercise during your pregnancy, do not forget about exercise following your delivery. Generally speaking, it will take approximately 6 to 8 weeks after your delivery before the changes in your body start to subside. Therefore, exercise is particularly important because exercise will help you to return to your pre-pregnancy 'shape' and 'figure' as well as weight. It will also help to increase your energy and improve your sleep patterns.

Back To Work

Office Angst
Your first day back at work after maternity leave. You're a wreck. It's not the angst of leaving your little dumpling behind after 12 weeks of blissful bonding (okay, okay, and spit-up-stained tees and infrequent showers) that gets you. It's what you'll wear. What fits? Aha, the selection has been severely narrowed down. You leave yourself an exorbitant amount of time to get ready -- just like the first day of high school all over again. Except that on the first day of high school a 12-pound dwarf didn't barf on your suit right before you walked out the door.


Wow...! Ethan is already 11-week old and since mommy's maternity leave only lasted that pitiful 2 months, so she gotto drag her pity arse back to work... hahahaha

And yeah... there are so many things that was going in mommy's mind. Where to find a good and reliable care taker? Would Ethan able to adapt to the new environment? and other sort of 'nonsense' But most importantly she worried about herself getting back to work. It is undeniable that all mommy will be worried about leaving her newborn baby behind while she goes back to the 'world out there' after being "quarantined" for so long It is nice and comforting that your baby is right beside you and you feel hesitant to part with this little gem of yours.

So before you take the big step into your normal life again, it's good that you get in touch with your colleagues and boss about the "what's ups" that have been going on. And once that you are out there, find some time to catch up on your baby at home. Once you are there, we should find a way to ease the transition from work to home.

Yeah... we will be very eager to rush home to see our little baby and we also presume that he/she will be very eager to see us after a long 8-hour. Err... you might be wrong.

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that your baby is not eager to see you or you to see him/her. But keep this in mind. After a long day of work, at the end of the day, you are tired and hungry, if not stress. So you might be pretty 'short fuse'.

So stop and ponder, relax. You don't want yourself to be in a "culture-shock" where you are confronted with 'demands' coming from all over the places, your baby, spouse, family members, etc. We should find a balance between your demands and resources. Ask for help if you need one.

There are new parents out there that find it embarrassing to 'ask for help' from a relative or friend. They are afraid that they'll be looked down as being Incapable Parent. This will add more stress to you than help!

Furthermore, we should find some fun time together, spending with your spouse and your baby. Read a bed-time story together, sing a nursery rhyme together, etc.

Busy Parenting

"Your (fill in: cat, dog, bird) is pissed at you. You've been so busy and distracted that you've been trying to ignore this truth. But it has become impossible not to notice the looks and, oh, the attitude. Your pet is horrified and not a little bit annoyed. To your beloved pet, you've brought home a noisy, pooping, wriggling little fiend who just happens to be getting an awful lot of the attention once reserved for inhabitants of the nonhuman variety. The other day, during a particularly colicky moment, the look on your pet's face clearly said: "What on Earth were you thinking?" "

Tis is a short paragraph i found in tis parenting site n find it quite true. Especially it applies to me n my wife now

When Ethan Didn't Wanna Sleep!

When Ethan didnt wanna sleep,
Daddy n mommy will b 'black-eye-sheep'!

Bedtime Story

I m amazed by those programs in the telly showing how a daddy or mommy reads a bedtime story to his/her kid every nite n tug the baby to sleep. It's just so lovely

So since I have my own baby now, I went to get some story books for Ethan so that I can also read bedtime story to him n then tug him to sleep That would b so lovely too... hmmm......

But...... come to think about it. Watever that's shown in d telly will stay in d telly. Would it work in real life is another story, rite. Will Ethan b lying on his bed 'quietly' listening to my bedtime story while daddy is trying his best to read out those "bombastic" ingelis in d story books. Or will daddy ended up with ...

Parents Beware!

Very often we, as parents, will make sure that our baby is safe from any harm and danger. We make sure that our households are safe for our baby. We make sure that all dangerous items like knife, scissors, sharp objects etc are kept away and only provide the safest environment for them to play with. Likewise when we go out, either to the park or shopping mall.

However, have we really done enough to ensure that our children are safe? Have we make sure that our household is sufficiently clean? "Yeah, of course" we'll say, "I clean my house every day".

But sometimes, we tend to forget something here.

Dust mites!

As a layman, we know very little about them. All we know is 'take out our blanket, bed sheets, etc under the sun' for few hours and it'll do the job. But have we imagine that there are thousands or even millions of these mites welcoming you the minute you lay down onto your pillow? (wow! the thought of it is enough to send chills up my spine)

Okay... let us say that we have taken good care of our bedroom. Free of mites.

How about your carpet? curtains? your baby's toys? and your pets?

These microscopic living organism, that feed on our dead skins and hair, are the cause of most asthma, nasal allergy, and some eczema.

Imagine that our baby touches one of these and rubbed his eyes afterwards.

So, think again!

Sleep When Ur Baby Sleeps

It has been almost 2 months since Ethan is born n we have so many sleepless nites n im sure dat besides me, Yvonne is exhausted too by now by the lack of sleep.

Should hv listened to our moms when they said, "get UR sleep now" when Yvonne was pregnant. They sure have their reason why they said dat... but we didnt listen Shrugging it off by saying "well, U can sleep now n reserve for de future" n "cant b so "hard" rite taking care of just one baby"

And now, bcos of these ignorant n clueless of de exhaustion dat we would experience once Ethan is born, both daddy n mommy is totally wrecked n tired beyond sanity U just feel like U can just drop n sleep until 'duh cow comes home' n now u regretted for not listening to ur parents when they said, "get UR sleep now!!"

Then comes another piece of advise from those "more experienced" uncles n aunties, "sleep when UR baby sleeps". Not wanting to b ignorant tis time, U try to "sleep when ur baby sleeps" but what'd U get? U CAN'T!!! Yeah! U CAN'T!

Now dat Ur baby is born, it is utterly impossible to sleep when ur baby sleeps. There r so many things to do besides attending to ur baby. Who will b doing d washing? cooking? cleaning? n making sure dat ur house is in good condition?

For U who is pregnant now, get UR sleep now! when u can bcos U Really Need It

Sleepless Nites At Wangsa Baiduri (Part3)

Ethan: (crying) waaa... waaaa... waaa....
Daddy: What's wrong, Ethan? (hmmm... like he knows how to answer u lor hor)

Ethan continued to cry where tis blur blur daddy trying to find out what's wrong with his son

Mommy: He's been like tis since d afternoon. I think he has tummy pain lor
Daddy: Hmmm... let's see (while opening up Ethan's shirt to check on his tummy) Let's apply some ointment n see if it helps.

Then daddy n mommy took turns to cuddle n rock Ethan to sleep

Do U Want A Boy or Girl?

I remember that my mom used to tell me that it's God's blessing n God's grace that we are granted a little baby into our family, not to mention getting a little boy or a little girl. Mom used to say, "Be good n devoted to God n u'll b granted an offspring. Ur future generation", "Love children n U'll b gifted with ur own children."

Until after I grew up (n old) where I found that there's a "back-door" way to conceive (anyway, i thank God to grant me a lovely Ethan). How? Test-tube baby or In vitro fertilization (IVF). (errmmm... dat doesnt mean i m not devoted 2 God anymore lar hehehe)

Then there comes tis question again... "How r we gonna get a baby Boy? or may b a baby Girl?" Ohhh... that's not a problem now too . There r so many info in the web to 'teach' us how 2 get pregnant (naturally) with a baby boy or girl.

There u'll read 'eat more tis to get a boy' or 'eat more tat to get a girl'. Or u'll even see 'do tis n tis sexual position if u wanna have a baby boy/girl' (wow!!! interesting n i belief many of us hv read these hahaha. Tell me u haven't but i did hehe)

Now there's tis new research by the universities of Exeter and Oxford saying that a child's sex is associated with the mother's diet n "Skipping breakfast may mean your baby is a girl" Quoting from the article "In humans, going without breakfast may be interpreted by the body as signaling low food availability, since it depresses levels of blood sugar" and "If a mother has plentiful resources then it can make sense to invest in producing a son because he is likely to produce more grandchildren than would a daughter. However, in leaner times having a daughter is a safer bet"

Tis is really interesting. So U wanna have a Boy or Girl?

Plan For Ur Kid's Future

I've just came back from a lunch 'date' (naa... i wish ) with one of my friends (n it's a HE. Okay! Okay! dun get me wrong there huh im a happily married man, u noe, hahaha)

After all the ol' pal greetings, we went into a quite interesting topic of conversation, when suddenly he asked

John: Daniel, hv U planned for ur kid's future?
Me: Huh!! (while having a mouthful of char kuey teow" )
John: Ur Ethan's future... Have U made any plan for him? Savings, education n stuff
Me: Oh yea... of course i've. why??

Then John introduced to me about a Savings Plan which he has just signed up. And we then continued to indulge into this "Our Kid's Future" topic.

So as a proud parent, what plans would you have made for your kids? Insurance, Savings, Education?