Yea...! U Sure Is Stressed!

Had a little chat wit my friend just now. He told me that he's going on a trip next month. So I assumed that he's going for the holiday wit his lovely wife.

Then...

He: No lar. I going alone this time
Me: But, why? I thought u plan the trip to be spent wit ur wife.!
He: Nope... Just wanna spend some time alone

Hmmm... he must be very stressed not going wit his wife. So I guess he's gonna let everyone in his office know that he'll not be around for a short time.

Then a crazy idea came to me.

Me: Wei, u gotto put up the out-of-office reply in ur email setting so that ur colleagues n customers will know about ur not around.
He: Yea... but I dunno what to put in there.
Me: hmm... u can say "I'm not really out of office now. Just feel like ignoring U"

Then I found a list of those 'out of office' reply that can really make ur day

• I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

• You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I were in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

• Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed in preparation for my promotion to management.

• I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 10/18. Please be patient and your mails will be deleted in the order they were received.

• Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each word thereafter.
  

• The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.' (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals actually did this over and over).
  

• Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 10 weeks, if I am still around then.
  

• Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message. I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.
  

• Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
  

• Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.
  

• I've run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, ABSOLUTELY THE BEST:

• I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Michelle' instead of 'Steve'.

Guess what... my friend calls me back with lots of '&^$&*^$&##' hahahaha