Do I Get To Rest On Labour Day?

I was happily eating my dinner last nite when Yvonne's niece asked

YY: Yee-Zang (meaning uncle) wat is Labour Day har?
Me: Err... Labour Day is duh holiday for working people
YY: Then hor... do I hv 2 go 2 school ar on Labour Day?
Me: Yea... of cos... U not working mar. Labour Day is only for working people only. So U gotto go school
YY: Cheh.... no fun wan like dat. Why I hv 2 go 2 school on dat day?
Me: U see... Labour Day is duh holiday for working people... Are U working now?
YY: No
Me: Yea lor... U r schooling now, so not ur holiday. Rite?
YY: (nodding her head) Yea...

hahaha ... so me giggling n continue eating while poor YY sitting there thinking (deeply) on tis Labour Day holiday thingy hahahah

Then suddenly

YY: Yee-Zang... If Labour Day is for working people, then my teachers will not come to my school lor on dat day. Then why we need 2 go school? No teacher wor...

hahahaha... Clever Girl hahahaha

Do U Hv An 'ID ten T' Problem?

Tis is so funny...


Do U Hv An ID ten T Problem?

Ah Beng was having trouble with his computer. So he called Eric, one of his friends, a computer expert and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, Ah Beng called after him, "So what was wrong?" Eric replied, "It was an ID ten T error"

Ah Beng didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again"

Eric grinned... "Haven't U ever heard of an ID ten T error before!?" "No" Ah Beng replied.

"Write it down!" said Eric, "and I think U'll figure it out"

So Ah Beng wrote down:

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

ID10T

Wanna Change My Car

It's really a hard decision to make here... After deciding to change my job to selling chee cheong fun, now Daniel n wife is planning to change their car to a bigger wan... why?

Many people say it's actually a good car for a small family like Daniel has. But i got one tiny itsy bitsy 'problem'. It's when we bring Ethan out for either shopping, makan-makan, or jalan-jalan at the park. We gotto bring along Ethan's stroller n his car seat .

So after putting the stroller at the boot of our car and the car seat affixed for Ethan to sit during the ride to our destination, there'll b no 'extra' space left in our car.

"Imagine we decide to bring Ethan go shopping n 'decided' to get some stuff for our household. Where got place to put those stuff?" mommy asked daddy.

Daddy thought for a while, n replied, "hmmm... either we dun bring Ethan along or we dun buy those stuff" (n tis daddy ended up got a smack on d head from mommy )

Ur Website is Ta Laa Piu, Ta Laa Piu, Ta Laa Piu Tot Kom

One day, Mathew brought his friends, Ah Beng n Ah Seng, to Kaleb's new company launch party. And suddenly Ah Beng started a conversation:

Ah Beng: So, Mahtiu... tis Kahlib is really good n clever hor. Can set up his own company.
Mathew: Yea, he's really an outstanding chap. N by the way, my name is Mathew! Not Mahtiu!!
Ah Beng: Ok! Ok! Meh-tiu. Very solli. N since tis kah-lou (fella) has his own company, then sure he got his website n email lor... rite?
Mathew: Yup. U are rite. And it's www.kahleb.com.

All these while, our friend, Ah Seng is happily enjoying the food n suddenly turned to Ah Beng and asked:

Ah Seng: Wei! Ah Beng. What is dis our friend Kow-lik website har?? Just now i didnt hear u n Mahtiu say lar
Ah Beng: It's ta laa biu, ta laa biu, ta laa biu, tot kah lib tot kom
Ah Seng: Huh!!?? Why dur website so funny wan??
Ah Beng: What? What so funny lar!?
Ah Seng: No lar... his website sound like "pey yan tiu, pey yan tiu, pey yan tiu kow ley"

Sleepless Nites At Wangsa Baiduri (Part3)

Ethan: (crying) waaa... waaaa... waaa....
Daddy: What's wrong, Ethan? (hmmm... like he knows how to answer u lor hor)

Ethan continued to cry where tis blur blur daddy trying to find out what's wrong with his son

Mommy: He's been like tis since d afternoon. I think he has tummy pain lor
Daddy: Hmmm... let's see (while opening up Ethan's shirt to check on his tummy) Let's apply some ointment n see if it helps.

Then daddy n mommy took turns to cuddle n rock Ethan to sleep

Gonna Change Job

Just had a short képoh wit one of my friends n he asked, "so my fren... how's work?", which i replied, "ok lor... got things 2 do.. then work getting more but not my salary"

Ming: Yea... me too. So many things 2 do n sometimes gotto work on weekend. Boss keep pushing more stuff into my department.
Me: Really..? Mine is no different lar my fren. Work got increase, but salary no increase wor
Ming: Ya lor... i wan 2 go sell 'char kuey teow' oledi
Me: Har!! why go sell 'char kuey teow'? If i were u hor, i go sell 'chee cheong fun'
Ming: Why lar sell 'chee cheong fun'?
Me: Ohh... sell 'char kuey teow' hor u gotto 'char' (means fry) duh kuey teow. So 'ma fun' (troublesome) Go sell 'chee cheong fun' lar... everything oledi ready.. just take n sell hahahaha

My friend must b thinking "dammnnn... tis fren hor is so very duh lazy lar. Wanna change his "career" oso so very duh lazy"

I Wanna Name My Dog "Barbie" ;p

A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?"
The blonde replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex." The man responds "Huh.. that's interesting.. why did you name them such names?"

The blonde sighs and shakes her head "Everyone keeps asking me the same thing... duhh, what else can you name your watch dogs??"

psst... psst... u know why i wanna name my dog "Barbie"? cos i hv a TOY poodle

Do U Want A Boy or Girl?

I remember that my mom used to tell me that it's God's blessing n God's grace that we are granted a little baby into our family, not to mention getting a little boy or a little girl. Mom used to say, "Be good n devoted to God n u'll b granted an offspring. Ur future generation", "Love children n U'll b gifted with ur own children."

Until after I grew up (n old) where I found that there's a "back-door" way to conceive (anyway, i thank God to grant me a lovely Ethan). How? Test-tube baby or In vitro fertilization (IVF). (errmmm... dat doesnt mean i m not devoted 2 God anymore lar hehehe)

Then there comes tis question again... "How r we gonna get a baby Boy? or may b a baby Girl?" Ohhh... that's not a problem now too . There r so many info in the web to 'teach' us how 2 get pregnant (naturally) with a baby boy or girl.

There u'll read 'eat more tis to get a boy' or 'eat more tat to get a girl'. Or u'll even see 'do tis n tis sexual position if u wanna have a baby boy/girl' (wow!!! interesting n i belief many of us hv read these hahaha. Tell me u haven't but i did hehe)

Now there's tis new research by the universities of Exeter and Oxford saying that a child's sex is associated with the mother's diet n "Skipping breakfast may mean your baby is a girl" Quoting from the article "In humans, going without breakfast may be interpreted by the body as signaling low food availability, since it depresses levels of blood sugar" and "If a mother has plentiful resources then it can make sense to invest in producing a son because he is likely to produce more grandchildren than would a daughter. However, in leaner times having a daughter is a safer bet"

Tis is really interesting. So U wanna have a Boy or Girl?

They R Just Blardy Annoying!!!

He: Hello, Sir, Mr. Daniel. I m XXX calling from ABC Bank.
Me: Uh huh... yea....?
He: Mr. Daniel, we are calling U 2day bcos U have been chosen in our lucky draw to b entitled for a "Reduced-Interest-Fast-Cash" program.
Me: What? How do U get my contact number huh!?
He: Oh... Mr. Daniel, we understand that U have a credit card facility with our bank n U r automatically entitled to b part of this program
(n b4 I can say anything... he continued)
He: So, Mr. Daniel, b4 I can go ahead to enlighten U on our great offer, I'll need to make a slight verification from U. May I, Mr Daniel, have UR Credit Card number?

OKAY!!! THAT'S IT!!!!

This really pisses me off here... Hey!!! U!! U claimed that U r calling from this blardy (mudda farking) bank n know that i hv UR blardy credit card n now U blardy farking come n ask me what (duh fark) is my credit card number for verification?!!!?

I shud b the one 2 blardy verify UR blardy info b4 I tell U anything!! U hv my info rite!? Now U tell me what I wanna hear, n let me tell U whether U hv got the correct "lucky" person or not!!

Tis Is Really Hilarious

I m now sitting here clearing my personal inbox ( *supposedly 2b working* ) n found tis old email sent by a friend n is so damn hilarious. I think i need one of these once a while... hahahaha


Newly Wed Girl
To: * FOR ALL THE GIRLS WHO ARE GONNA GET MARRIED and the MARRIED ONE as well

A newly wed girl was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner. She was asked to give a little speech.

She addressed as follows:
"My dear family members, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family", she said. "Firstly, with my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here. I mean that I don't want you all to change your way of life, your routine."

"What do you mean my child?" asked the patriarch of the family.

"What I mean dad is: Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them. Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it. Those who cooked shouldn't stop on my account. And those who used to clean should clean".

"As for me, I am here just to entertain your son".



well... at least the in-laws know that their son is 'taken care' of. hahahahaha

Heeeeeelp!!!!

Maaaann... it's happening to me now. It's the 'writer's block' im talking here.

Last time, when i read about others' saying that they had writer's block, n i'll think "hmmm... how is tis possible??" but now it's like "yea!!! tis is possible!!! so very possible!!"

Heeeeeeeeeeeelp!

Think Outside The Box (continue)

Remember the quiz which I posted here the other day? I guess nobody remembers bcos I dun see any response or anyone taking up dat quiz...

Anyway, it's okay n 2day i'll b nice to give the answer to the quiz (n if u do not know the rule, it says draw 4 connecting straight lines to connect the 9 dots together)

Firstly, U draw a line like tis across the centre

Then, U draw another line like tis

n then
n finally, i guess U oledi know how to end tis 4 straight lines to connect the 9 dots rite... hehehe

That's what we call "Think Outside The Box"

Plan For Ur Kid's Future

I've just came back from a lunch 'date' (naa... i wish ) with one of my friends (n it's a HE. Okay! Okay! dun get me wrong there huh im a happily married man, u noe, hahaha)

After all the ol' pal greetings, we went into a quite interesting topic of conversation, when suddenly he asked

John: Daniel, hv U planned for ur kid's future?
Me: Huh!! (while having a mouthful of char kuey teow" )
John: Ur Ethan's future... Have U made any plan for him? Savings, education n stuff
Me: Oh yea... of course i've. why??

Then John introduced to me about a Savings Plan which he has just signed up. And we then continued to indulge into this "Our Kid's Future" topic.

So as a proud parent, what plans would you have made for your kids? Insurance, Savings, Education?

So Freaking Funny

This is so freaking funny when i got it from my friend

Mann.... make u wonder n think twice isn't it.

Eight Lies Of A Mother

Our mother is the greatest person in our life who can do everything in her might to ensure that her 'little baby' is well and good. Often, we see in the telly where two lovers will ask each other, "will you die for me?" And mind you, if this question is posted to your mother, she will not hesitate to answer "YES".

And think again when you whine, and tell your mother, "I hate you! You lied!" Yes, your mother lied but she have 'sinned' for a good reason. Here I have received a lovely and touching mail in my inbox with the header "8 LIES OF A MOTHER"

This story begins when I was a child: I was born poor. Often we hadn't enough to eat. Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her portion of rice. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say "Eat this rice, son! I'm not hungry."
This was Mother's First Lie.

As I grew, Mother gave up her spare time to fish in a river n ear our house; she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could give me a little bit more nutritious food for my growth. Once she had caught just two fish, she would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat what was still left on the bone of the fish I had eaten; My heart was touched when I saw it. Once I gave the other fish to her on my chopstick but she immediately refused it and said, "Eat this fish, son! I don't really like fish."
This was Mother's Second Lie.

Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a Match Factory to bring home some used matchboxes which she filled with fresh matchsticks. This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night I awoke to find Mother filling the match boxes by candlelight. So I said, "Mother, go to sleep; it's late: you can continue working tomorrow morning. Mother smiled and said "Go to sleep, son! I'm not tired."
This was Mother's Third Lie

When I had to sit my Final Examination, Mother accompanied me. After dawn, Mother waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When the bell rang, I ran to meet her. Mother embraced me and poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared in a thermos. The tea was not as strong as my Mother's love, Seeing Mother cov ered with perspiration; I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said "Drink, son! I'm not thirsty!
This was Mother's Fourth Lie.

After Father's death, Mother had to play the role of a single parent. She held on to her former job; she had to fund our needs alone. Our family's life was more complicated. We suffered from starvation. Seeing our family's condition worsening, my kind Uncle who lived near my house came to help us solve our problems big and small. Our other neighbors saw that we were poverty stricken so they often advised my mother to m arry again. But Mother refused to remarry saying "I don't need love."
This was Mother's Fifth Lie.

After I had finished my studies and gotten a job, it was time for my old Mother to retire but she carried on going to the market every morning just to sell a few vegetables. I kept sending her money but she was steadfast and even sent the money back to me. She said, "I have enough money."
That was Mother's Sixth Lie.

I continued my part-time studies for my Master's Degree. Funded by the American Corporation for which I worked, I succeeded in my studies. With a big jump in my salary, I decided to bring Mother to enjoy life in America but Mother didn't want to bother her son; she said to me "I'm not used to high living."
That was Mother's Seventh Lie

In her dotage, Mother was attacked by cancer and had to be hospitalized. Now living far across the ocean, I went home to visit Mother who was bedridden after an operation. Mother tried to smile but I was heartbroken because she was so thin and feeble but Mother said, "Don't cry, son! I'm not in pain."
That was Mother's Eighth Lie.

Telling me this, her eighth lie, she died.
YES, MOTHER WAS AN ANGEL!



M - O - T - H - E - R
"M" is for the Million things she gave me, "O" means Only that she's growing old, "T" is for the Tears she shed to save me, "H" is for her Heart of gold, "E" is for her Eyes with love-light shining in them, "R" means Right, and right she'll always be, Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER" a word that means the world to me. For those of you who are lucky to be still blessed with your Mom's presence on Earth, this story is beautiful. For those who aren't so blessed, this is even more beautiful.



* Don't forget to go n take this QUIZ before you leave *